When I Was Carefree and Gay…

What happened to my innocence?

I used to be resolved to find true love
and reject any of those other scenarios
any of those other meaningless things

Instead I became jaded
and now looking back I wonder
was what I thought an illusion
really my destiny?

Deep down I long for companionship
Someone to laugh and cry with
to ask me about my day
and steal my covers at night

Right now I want those things
But I’m not allowing myself to have them
I don’t want to get distracted from life
and my goals for personal achievement

I bask in the glow of temporary flame
while the oil of my lantern is depleted
I’m waiting for the lightbulb to be invented
before darkness takes over

And now I think about those two roads
that Frost said diverged in a yellow wood
and wish I could travel both
moving with ease as one traveller

But at one score and 4 years
I believe my story is not yet done
the road will diverge again and again
the question remains, should I wait?

my fear
that I will travel one beyond reach of the other
that I will travel too long and forget
with no breadcrums to retrace the steps


4 Responses to “When I Was Carefree and Gay…”

  1. I like man. You should listen to this Sara Bareilles song “One Sweet Love”. This piece makes me think of the questions she asks in that song.

  2. drevolutionary1 Says:

    Immediately listening to this song thanks to Spotify. LOL. Thanks for the suggestion!

  3. I love this. It completely mirrors my own thoughts, fears & aspirations about career, life and love! Thanks for sharing.

  4. drevolutionary1 Says:

    Thanks for your comment! Yes, very specifically in my mind was career aspirations versus love… Glad it was something you could connect with 🙂

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